Quotes from those who know how to cocktail.
Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
- W. C Fields
My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round. ~ Willie Nelson

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. ~ Dean Martin

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemingway

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. ~ Ernest Hemingway

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  ~Author Unknown

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.  ~John Marcellus Huston

Draft beer, not people.  ~Author Unknown

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.  ~Author Unknown

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  ~Quoted in
P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.  ~Raymond Chandler